


lost but not left behind

by mariette



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/M, Family, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Found homes, Hurt/Comfort, IPRE, Seven Birds - Freeform, Starblaster Family - Freeform, Trauma, post story and song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 17:24:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15845898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariette/pseuds/mariette
Summary: And when there never seems to be an end in sight eventually you start believing and ending will never come. So when you're finally faced with it… it's that much more heartbreaking.Maybe that's what the extra weight of silence on the ship was. All of their hearts breaking at once thinking about the end of it all.---They have a much needed heart to heart. Everything is somber but there's fluff it's okay. Also I just straight up ignored Lup being in Lich form so just pretend she got her body SUPER QUICK.





	lost but not left behind

**Author's Note:**

> I have toooooo many feeling about the IPRE crew. Leave me a comment if you liked it!!

If there was anything to know about the seven birds its that they didn’t give the future much thought. Sure, for the first few decades they were hopeful to find someplace to live after conquering The Hunger. But as the years dragged on and their enemy grew stronger and less likely to fail they spent less time thinking about their future and more time on any future at all.

They’d had homes before, and had a few after their 99th cycle when they forgot everything. The problem is that they weren’t necessarily homes. In some sense of the word they were but they were always missing something. Even if they didn’t know it at the time.

When the fight was finally, finally, over they found themselves needing to retire somewhere. They had time to forget about that while celebrations were being had. After all, the entire world knew about them now. But as the festivities quieted and eventually the seven of them were left on their own they all of a sudden felt very lost.

In all honesty, going back onto the ship made the most sense to them. After all it had been what they'd done for 99 years why should this time be any different? Except at the surface of it all it should have been different, because things were different now. Right?

The twins and Barry were there first. It was Lup’s idea, she said something along the lines of “Yo this party is great and all but I’ve got some totally wicked alcohol stashed in my room on the ship”. It’s all Taako needed to hear to get him the fuck out of there and Barry of course wasn’t going to go anywhere without her.

Dav followed pretty quickly after them. Parties and celebrations weren’t really his thing. As far as he was concerned he was just someone who was doing his job. Except, he knew it was so much more than that. Even still, he slipped quietly away when he knew no one was looking.

Lucretia and Merle noticed their absences immediately. It didn’t take long for them to figure out where they were headed. Lucretia grabbed onto Magnus’ arm and pulled him away from the conversation he was having with Carey.

“Hey what’s goin’ on?” he asked. Lucretia gave Carey a soft smile as she pulled Magnus from her.

“Think we’ve got somewhere we need to be,” Merle said.

When the three of them got to the ship Merle and Magnus walked in immediately. Lucretia stayed back and looked up at the deck of the ship. From where she was she could only see a silhouette but she still knew it was Davenport.

They were all in their common room or as Taako often called it ‘the chill-anctuary’. The name only really stuck with him. Lucretia hadn’t been inside of the ship since she had it stored away but it looked exactly as the day they left it. Besides all the singe marks near the front of the ship. Which, isn’t surprising considering what it just went through.

“Oof,” Magnus began. He paced over to the couch and fell down into it. “You ever walk into a room and feel the air get knocked out of you?”

“Yeah, I felt it too,” Barry said.

It was different being on the ship now than before. During the fight they kind of had the reason reality was being swallowed hole to deal with. So there wasn’t much time to stop and go ‘hey this shit is my home’. But now that it was quiet on the ship the only sounds were their own beating hearts the tone was much different.

“Guys, what are we doing?” Lup asked. She was sat on the arm of a chair she’d occupied thousands of times before. Her hair was tossed up in a loose bun, something Taako had done for her absentmindedly when they had a moment alone earlier. Barry was sat in the chair his arm wrapped safely around her.

Davenport finally moved from where he stood looking out of the deck of the ship. He'd been there for a long while, his arms crossed, his gaze locked on something far beyond the reaches of the visible world. He'd been thinking the same thing as Lup. What were they doing? What were they supposed to do? He was a captain with no more orders for his crew. He was lost.

“I don't know,” he said. He landed with a thud into the couch next to Lup. Magnus was on there too and he shifted immediately to make room for Dav. Almost like a dance, almost like they've done this a million times before.

They had. And now it was over.

“Why’re you bein’ such a downer over there, huh? We saved the world didn't we? We saved them all,” Merle said. He was on the other sofa with Lucretia now. They've stayed close to each other since the fight. Lucretia felt the most comfortable near him given how much she ruined her relationship with everyone. Still, they haven't told her to leave so there she sat feeling just as lost as the rest of them did.

“Yeah not sure why I'm sitting on this dusty old ship with you weirdos. I'm famous now y’know,” Taako spoke up. He was standing behind the couch Magnus and Dav were on. His head perched in his hand, smile cocky as ever.

“Oh tell us how you really feel,” Merle replied.

“Give it a rest, Taako. You were the first one on this fuckin’ thing. Don't act like I didn't see you itchin to get in here,” Magnus said.

“I'll have you know I have some fantastic outfits stashed away in here. You think I'm gonna let them wait one more second to see the light of day? Clearly you don't know me that well,” Taako said.

“I do know you well enough. Where are they, huh?” He asked. Annoyance suddenly bubbles through him. He didn't meant for it to come out as snappy as it did.

“Okay I'm with Merle here. What the fuck is going on with you guys?” Taako asked.

“What the fuck are we supposed to do?” Lup asked. Taako shut his mouth quickly when she spoke. “Your boyfriend has it out for Barry and I, Dav is over there losing his mind, Merle literally saw God, you won't even look at Lucretia! I mean fuck guys what are we supposed to do? Leave each other? Go our separate ways?”

“No,” Barry said quickly. It was the first time he had spoken for awhile. All their eyes trained on to him. He cleared his throat. “No. We can't go our separate ways. I… I was on my own for too long, so were you, Lup. So were all of us. I can't do it anymore.”

No one said anything for awhile. The silence roared in each of their ears. They were too scared to find out what everyone else was thinking. Too scared to hear someone say this was it.

It was no secret to anyone anymore that they spent an unbelievably amount of time together. Not just spending it together but surviving it together on some sense of the word. They saved worlds, they lost them, and they all did it as a team.

For the first few years all they did was argue with each other. They were uncomfortable, tired, and really fucking sick of dying. But eventually something changed. They started to get more protective of one another. Began running in front of blades for someone else, or taking an arrow straight through the heart just to save someone else the pain of dying again.

As the decades dragged on they started to need each other's company. The years where Merle would die early on in parley were awful because they all missed him so much. But the knew that wasn't it and he'd be back. Because they always came back. And when there never seems to be an end in sight eventually you start believing and ending will never come. So when you're finally faced with it… it's that much more heartbreaking.

Maybe that's what the extra weight of silence on the ship was. All of their hearts breaking at once thinking about the end of it all.

“What if you don't have to be alone?” Taako asked. The roaring of the silence stopped. Each member of his family turned in their own time to look at him. Lucretia hadn't taken her eyes off him since she stepped into the room.

“What?” She asked. It was quiet, careful, scared. Taako didn't meet her gaze but he did answer her question.

“What if we don't have to leave? What if we just… stayed together? You know, living our separate lives but not quite?” He suggested. Magnus raised an eyebrow.

“What still live together?” He asked. The pitch in his voice was different than Lucretia’s. It was hopeful.

“That’s more like it,” Lup sighed. She slouched down into the chair now. Her body melting into Barry’s lap. The bottle of alcohol swaying in her hand. Taako quickly scooped it up before it hit the floor. He took a nice long swig of it, he’d need it after admitting wanting to be around them outloud.

“I mean we could all still do our own thing, travel and everything but… we'll have something to come home to,” Barry said adding to what everyone else had already said.

Someone to come home to. Seven people to be exact. None of them knew they thought it at the same exact time. It was another one of their unspoken truths, their secrets even they sometimes keep from themselves. Their love for each other. The bond so tight it saved every reality ever created.

“Guess the closest thing I have to a home is this so Taako’s in,” Taako said. And he knows, it's so not on brand for him to agree to something first. Totally not what he does but, with them it was always different. He swears on the Gods silently he'd never admit that to anyone outside of the room. He handed the bottle over to Magnus who happily took it.

“Well you all already know my answer.” He took a swig from it and coughed as soon as the liquid burned it’s way down his throat.

“Christ, Lup what’s in this? Gasoline?” he asked. Lup laughed.

“Closest thing to it, babe,” she said. Magnus gave the bottle to Dav. He stared at it for a while turning it around and around in his hands. He finally took a large swig of it, closing his eyes in the process. He didn’t say anything before handing it across to Barry. He didn’t need to, they knew what it meant.

All in order they took a swig. Barry, then Lup, then Merle. When Merle handed it to Lucretia she set it down on the table in front of her without taking a drink from it.

“Lucretia?” Magnus asked. He was frowning, his eyebrows furrowed. A look so often on his face.

“I… I can’t,” she said.

“Why not?” Merle asked.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat making it a point to lose all physical connection she had to Merle before. Their arms were brushed but now she needed to pull away because the closeness she had to them all felt wrong now. It burned her skin in a way she wasn’t used to but she knew she deserved.

“When I told Maureen about the ship and how I needed it stored away in a special place they asked me if I could bring it there for them. I… I knew how to fly the ship but I couldn’t be on this thing without you guys here. If I had gotten on this ship and saw everything we built together, the lives we created for a century, it would have broken me. Losing you was the biggest mistake I ever made and I’m going to take my karma for that. I’ve done enough damage to you, I don’t need to do anymore,” she said. Tears were falling down her face now. Everyone quietly listened to her. When she was done talking Lup was the first one to move.

She untangled herself from Barry’s grasp and crossed over to the other couch. She knelt down in front of Lucretia and took her hands. When Lucretia looked up at her, she was met with the warmest smile.

“Darling, I want you to know that I love you. So very, very much. No matter the mistakes you’ve made, no matter how badly you feel about yourself I love you,” she said. Lucretia sniffled, she couldn’t bring herself to say anything. This wasn’t the kind of response she was expecting but she supposed she should have known.

“Yeah I mean, sure, you fucked but who out of us hasn’t?” Merle asked.

“I haven’t,” Taako said.

“Not true,” Barry replied.

“Definitely not true,” Magnus added.

“Lucretia, I agree with Barry. I don’t think I can do this without you guys. All of you guys. At least not at first. The world has to heal from this battle but so do we. That includes you,” Dav said. He leaned over and picked up the bottle. He handed it to Lucretia with a sad smile.

“I don’t want to make your healing worse by being around,” Lucretia said. Letting herself have one last line of defense before caving.

“You won’t,” Magnus said. He was always so encouraging.

She looked up at Taako then who was surprisingly also looking at her. It was the first time they’d made eye contact since he remembered. She didn’t know what to expect from him but his answer was the one that mattered. If Taako wanted her gone she would leave, no matter what the rest of them said.

In what was a moment that could only be described as her heart literally stopping Taako gave her a small nod. A small gesture, yes, but one that held so much meaning her heart burst all at once. Tear began falling from her eyes in seconds, a smile began to pull it’s way onto her face. Taako dropped his eye contact with her almost immediately but that was okay. What she got would suffice.

She tilted her head back and took a swig.

The liquid burned her inside and coursed it’s way through her blood. It warmed her, grabbed her heart and squeezed it. She felt a drumbeat inside of her head and all at once she was happy, light, safe. She set the bottle down and looked up at her family. The only people in the entire world that mattered. The words fell out before she could stop them.

“I love you,” she said. Lup smiled up at her. Her thumb making soothing circles in her hand.

“We know. There was never a doubt in our minds you didn’t,” she said.

They sat in their ship for a long time. It was actually two whole days before they finally emerged. A lot of people asked what they did while they were in there. Taako replied coolly and said he went through a fabulous wardrobe. Lup and Barry said they banged the entire time. Magnus said he Merle and Dav played tabletop games. The only thing Lucretia said was that they spent time doing something they needed to do.

In all seriousness the 48 hours they spent on that ship wasn’t anything special. At least not to anyone outside looking in. They spent that time cuddled up in their common room. Sometimes laughing, sometimes crying, sometimes fighting, sometimes sleeping. But no matter what they were doing the entirety of it was spent loving each other. The soft hum of the bond engine was proof of that.


End file.
